Ohhh. Dont tell me buster! Eh!
I'm gonna take my cars, to the family picnic.
Tell them what the hell went on last night.
Ohhhhhh....

Incoming!
That's the last thing I heard,
Before a bomb blew off my leg, before I had to go and beg...
For some medicine.
Let's turn up the speed, now
Hey I was in trouble, I was in a battle
And I was hurt, felt like my brains' been rattled
Here I come, with blood on my hands
I'm an old ass maaaannn!
It was the battle of Tyconderoga
I had a cheese sub on the sofa,
and it was delicious.
Those were the days that I misses.
And what about the missus? What did she say?
While I was gettin' stabbed she was home gettin' laid!
I was so far away
In Tyconderoga, Don't you know a
piece of shit when you see it,
That's the end of it.
Fucking A', here we go today!
On and on, the bullets rang
I got some shit, it tastes like Tang
Blast away to the Moooon!
I couldnt do it I was stuck in my room
Here they come, shooting at me
I nearly shit, but I did certainly pee,
Pissed my pants, broke my leg,
There's a mortar and I beg and I beg,
Please don't blow my leg off shatter my baallllss!
Ohhh it's not worth it at all!
And then it happened, someone starting stabbin'!!
Ahhhhhhhh!
Right into my back, but I got a library book
In my back that I didn't return
And it saved my life and that bastard burned.
Oh, and now it gets quiet...
Maybe I'm dead.
Maybe I'm gonna have a riot in bed.
With my handjobs, I'm old as hell.
That's alright, my ass still smells.

"It all happened at the company picnic?"

All at the picnic, it was a shit dick.
Let me stick it in one more time Sharlene.